Sample Cover Letter for Graduate School Reapplication - Critique
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About this Sample Cover Letter Critique
In this sample cover letter critique, the certified professional resume writer
at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" cover letter from the
client's "before" cover letter.
So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of
ResumeEdge's work,
both the "before" and "after"
sample cover letters are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample
Cover Letters page.
Sample Cover Letter Critique
Dear Thomas,
After careful study of your resume, submitted cover letter, and
personal statement, I targeted your cover letter for the international
studies field and the Master's program you are again seeking at
Johns Hopkins University.
I began by providing a statement as to your commitment to enter
the 2002 Fall Term - "This letter confirms my decision to reapply
to your Master's program for the 2002 Fall Term."
Because you had previously declined an invitation to that program,
I tried to explain why. "It was with the deepest regret that I
was unable to accept your invitation for the 2000 Fall Term. Having
surmounted the obstacles involved in that decision and having gained
additional experience and perspective, I am pleased to continue
my education."
I then included a bulleted section that clearly states your activities
since you last applied to Johns Hopkins. Here, I emphasized experience
relevant to international studies. This included:
- The fact that you're the Senior Editor of liang.com, directing
a ten-person team in coverage of major international events.
- Your duty as a foreign service officer, analyst, and interpreter
in charge of Sino-Romanian & Sino-Moldovan Relations for
the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the P.R. China.
- The research and analysis you did on Sino-Romanian relations
and other relevant issues for the Vice President, Premier, Deputy
Premier, and Foreign Minister to facilitate their meetings with
foreign counterparts.
- And the analysis you conducted on the Southeast European peace
mechanism.
I then added your additional qualifications for an international
studies program. This bulleted section includes:
- Your serving as an attaché with the Consulate General of the
P.R. China in Constantza, Romania.
- Duty in the Department of East European and Central Asian Affairs
in Beijing, China.
- Fluency in numerous languages, including Chinese Mandarin (native
speaker), English, and Romanian.
- And International travel to various countries.
To prove your determination to enter this program I then wrote: "My
commitment to understanding and improving international relations
is clear and remains a constant goal."
I then wrote that you have submitted an online application and
that your cover letter includes application copies and an additional
letter of recommendation.
I did not include the data you provided in your personal statement.
It was geared towards medicine, not International Studies, and
I felt held no relevancy towards your current career goals.
All decisions to modify or delete information were in keeping
with the guidelines and standards of the Professional Association
of Resume Writers (PARW). With your new cover letter letter, you
now have a powerful tool that's targeted to International Studies,
while clearly presenting your qualifications, experience, skills,
and determination to reach that goal.
It was a pleasure serving you, Thomas. Good luck in all your future
endeavors.
ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
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