Sample Executive Resume for a Manufacturing Manager - Critique
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About this Sample Resume Critique
In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.
So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of
ResumeEdge's work,
both the "before" and "after"
sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample
Resumes page.
Sample Resume Critique
Dear Tricia ~
In keeping with your request to make the resume clean, simple,
and direct, I chose a standard business format. This format utilizes
the Times New Roman font resulting in a resume that's elegant and
uncluttered.
To best organize your contact data (phone numbers & email),
I placed your email beneath your name so an admissions director
could easily locate it. I also kept your office data flush left
and your home data flush right, as you had on your old resume.
I began the body of your new resume with a Qualifications section.
This brief paragraph summarizes your impressive skills, beginning
with your bilingualism and experience in automotive glass manufacturing.
I wrote about your start-up of an R&D facility in Los Angeles
and the awards you received for excellence in technology invention
and development. Added to this were your solid leadership, teamwork,
and project management capabilities.
In the Professional Experience section, I underscored the Los
Angeles Glass Company, Ltd. name, then listed your varying jobs
beneath that tag. Because I had listed the “Fabricated Glass
General Division: Automotive OEM Glass Manufacturing,” before
your jobs, I did not repeat that in the titles, as you had. Space
was a consideration, as was the desire to avoid redundancy.
I began the bullet points with the strongest action verbs possible,
while also rewriting text for conciseness & clarity.
For example, you wrote:
“Successfully planned and designed a new R&D structure
from the details of the organization to the functional facility
and its realization.”
I rewrote that to read:
“Planned, designed, and implemented a new R&D structure
using the facility's specifications.”
In another example, you wrote:
“Designed and managed the detailed content and its configuration
of the new building to realize the intended R&D function and
the atmosphere, from the IT systems to the color scheme, meeting
the budget and the timing.”
I rewrote that to read:
“Designed and supervised the new building's content and
configuration to ensure original specifications were adhered to,
from the choice of IT systems to the color scheme, while also remaining
within time and budget constraints.”
For the last section of your new resume, I chose the heading, “Education,
Honors, and Certifications.” In this section, I placed your
Master's and Bachelor's beneath the Los Angeles University heading.
Since you received the degrees from the same University, it's unnecessary
to keep repeating the name.
I next listed your work at the MIT Sloan School. Beneath that,
I listed your many awards. Lastly, I listed your certifications.
The only data I excluded was your listing of extra-curricular
activities and activities / special interest. Space was a consideration
(to have included this data would have made your resume run to
three pages (one or two is the industry standard) or I would have
been forced to decrease the size of the type, making the resume
harder to read.
As one admission's director said: “Your resume should portray
your work and educational history in the way you would present
them to a prospective employer.”
In the United States, rarely, if ever, do we include activities
or interests on a resume. These are usually brought up during the
interview process as a way to “break the ice.”
All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the
guidelines and standards of the Professional Association of Resume
Writers (PARW). You now have a powerful tool that's well-organized
and aesthetically pleasing.
It was a pleasure serving you, Tricia. Good luck in all your future
endeavors.
ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
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