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You are Here: Home > Resumes > Resume and Letter Center > Sample Resumes > Sample Entry-Level Resume for Business - Critique

Sample Entry-Level Resume for Business - Critique

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About this Sample Resume Critique

In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at ResumeEdge explains the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.Sample Resume

So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of ResumeEdge's work, both the "before" and "after" sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample Resumes page.Sample Resume

Sample Resume Critique

Dear Pamela,

As you requested in your order, I revised your resume according to Design Six. Though entry-level resumes are usually formatted with the Education section placed first, I compliment you on choosing this design, as it is best suited for someone like yourself who has a professional background.

In the body of the resume, I began with the Profile section. I revised this section to emphasize your academic accomplishments that are business related. Computer skills are highly regarded, so I was careful to carry that over in your profile.

In the following Experience section, I began each bullet point with the strongest action verb possible, while also rewriting the text for maximum impact. Since the dollar value in the only statement that included a dollar value was in US currency, I removed "USD" from it, replacing it with the US dollar symbol according to the Gregg Reference Manual.

You'll notice that the resultant job description statement is strong and concise, while not leaving out the most vital information from your original resume.

For example, you wrote:

  • Foreign currency trader, directly handled over USD 50K per month in trades and investment.
  • Investigated currency trends, issued reports on international markets, and specialized in transactions involving Euros, Dollars, and Yen.

I rewrote this to read:

  • Handled $50,000+ monthly in trades and investment, specializing in Euros, Dollars, and Yen transactions; investigated trends and issued market reports.

You'll also note that I pulled out accomplishments for each job heading. In this manner, a hiring manager can readily and easily see what you did while an intern and entrepreneur.

All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association of Resume Writers (PARW). With this resume, you now have a powerful personal marketing tool that's well-organized and aesthetically pleasing.

It was a pleasure serving you, Pamela. I wish you all the best.

ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)

Let ResumeEdgeResumeEdge Professional Resume Writing give your resume and cover letter an edge!

This Sample Entry-Level Resume > BeforeAfter
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