Sample Resume for a Bank Executive - Critique
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About this Sample Resume Critique
In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at
ResumeEdge explains
the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.
So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of
ResumeEdge's work,
both the "before" and "after"
sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample
Resumes page.
Sample Resume Critique
Dear Michael ~
As you requested, I used Design #9 for your resume. The small graphic
at the top does, indeed, add an international "flavor" to the final
document, as you wanted.
In the body of the resume, I began with a profile section in which
I bulleted and emphasized your most important qualifications. In
addition to your expertise in Equity Investment, Co-financing,
and Foreign Direct Investment Mobilization I wrote of your linguistic
capabilities and the fact that you manage multi-million dollar
projects for a world clientele.
In the following section, I listed your Professional Experience.
I began each bullet with the strongest action verb possible, while
also revising the text for clarity, conciseness, and maximum impact.
For example, you wrote:
"Started up the Mongolian Cooperation Fund in the amount of EUR
9.3 million funded by Japan, the Netherlands and Luxembourg."
I revised that to read:
"Established the EUR $9.3 million Mongolian Cooperation Fund financed
by Japan, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg."
In another example, you wrote:
"Lead arranged the USD 300 million Syndicated Loan of National
Bank of Hungary."
I revised that to read:
"Secured a US $300 million syndicated loan from the National Bank
of Hungary."
In one instance you wrote "German sovereign borrowers…" I
revised that to read, "German officials."
In another example you wrote, "in charge of 30 corporates." I
changed corporates to entities.
I condensed your internships because of space considerations and
because your professional experience is sufficient to impress a
hiring manager.
After the Education section, I ended your resume with your information
on Conferences.
All decisions to modify data were in keeping with the guidelines
and standards set forth by the Professional Association of Resume
Writers (PARW). With this resume, you now have a powerful tool
that's well organized and filled with pertinent data, while also
being aesthetically pleasing.
It was a pleasure serving you, Michael. Best of luck in all your
future endeavors.
ResumeEdge Writer
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)
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