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You are Here: Home > Resumes > Resume and Letter Center > Sample Resumes > Sample Student Resume for an Administrative Assistant - Critique

Sample Student Resume for an Administrative Assistant - Critique

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About this Sample Resume Critique

In this sample resume critique, the certified professional resume writer at ResumeEdge explains the process of creating the client's "after" resume from the client's "before" resume.Sample Resume

So that you may easily compare them to judge the quality of ResumeEdge's work, both the "before" and "after" sample resumes are linked below. They are also linked from the Sample Resumes page.Sample Resume

Sample Resume Critique

Dear Christopher,

After studying your skills and your stated goal of securing law school admission, I chose a "Returning Student" format that would highlight both your business experience and the skills that you gained during that employment.

I placed your contact information on the left margin. This way, it will be accessible should a law school representative want to contact you for more information, but it does not draw the eye away from the rest of the information on your resume.

I moved your education information to the bottom of your resume, since you have solid professional experience.

I then wrote a profile that states your goal of law school admissions and showcases the skills you have honed throughout your work experience, in particular performing public policy and executing / mediating contractual agreements.

I then included a "Professional Experience" section, beginning each bullet point with the strongest action verb possible, while also revising text for clarity and conciseness.

For example, you wrote:

  • Coordinating aspects of events and managing the facility during event activities. This includes, but is not limited to, execution and/or mediation of contractual obligations to artist or client, staff scheduling, budget preparation, dissemination of event information, event settlement, and liaison between the Pavillion, its scheduled artists, clients, vendors, production companies and departments.

I rewrote this information into two bullets, which read:

  • Manage the facility during events; schedule staff, prepare budgets, and disseminate advertising.
  • Liaise with scheduled artists, clients, vendors, production companies, and departments; execute and mediate contractual obligations; hire, train, and manage an on-call staff of 300 employees.

In another example, you wrote:

  • Seeking underwriting support via business proposal and personal contact.
  • Presenting event plans to organizations, committees and businesses to solicit support.

I condensed this information into one bullet, which reads:

  • Secured underwriting support by presenting event plans to organizations and businesses.

Because space was such an issue, I deleted the last position you had on your original resume. As it was an internship, you did not exhibit any skills in this position that you did not in your other four, and I decided that it was best to emphasize your most impressive positions rather than to make your resume look cramped.

I then presented your education information so that it is visually accessible for admissions representatives.

All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association of Resume Writers (PARW).

With this resume, you now have a powerful tool that showcases the skills that you have developed in your last four positions. These are some of the same skills that will make you very attractive to law school admissions committees. I also made every attempt to make your resume more visually accessible and pleasing.

It was a pleasure serving you, Christopher. Good luck in all of your future endeavors.

ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)

Let ResumeEdgeResumeEdge Professional Resume Writing give your resume and cover letter an edge!

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